Prayer before making big decisions becomes vitally important in early recovery, especially when we are still growing spiritually. Big choices can feel urgent, emotional, or confusing, and without guidance, it is easy to lean on fear, pride, or self-will.
In an earlier article, I discussed rowing against the current, calling on God’s guidance when we face indecision, and refusing to let the world shape our direction. Rowing against the current requires effort, patience, and trust in God to help us navigate dangers we cannot always see.
Prayer also becomes essential as we learn to use spiritual tools in daily life. When we face a major decision, we may still be trying to manage outcomes on our own instead of surrendering them to God.
This struggle is common in early recovery. Our understanding of what is good, safe, or wise can still be distorted by fear, control, or the desire for quick relief. Through prayer, we create space to pause, seek God’s will, and make decisions with greater honesty, humility, and peace.
AA suggests avoiding major decisions during the first year of sobriety for good reason: Step One is clear about powerlessness and unmanageability in our lives. So, when I considered a possible job change, I followed directions and called my sponsor first.
Asking For Help
Over coffee, I informed my sponsor that I wanted to find a new job because I felt unappreciated. I had taken over a team project, worked through the weekend, and finished most of it alone. At first, I thought I was proactive. However, my sponsor noticed something deeper.
“Did you ask your teammates for help?” He asked. I admitted I had not. Then he challenged me: “Is this really about work, or is it about ego and control?” He caught me off guard by questioning my motives, so I changed my approach.
I explained that a friend had told me about a better-paying job with more personal time off. I felt pressured to apply before the position closed. Instead of giving advice, my sponsor asked one simple question: “Did you pray about it?”
I had not. Although I wanted my sponsor’s approval and God’s blessing, I had already started leaning toward my own plan. My sponsor reminded me to pray first, listen carefully, and wait before acting.
Reasoning with God
Later that night, I thought through every possible outcome. Soon, I convinced myself there was nothing to lose because I still had my current job. Then, instead of praying first, I wrote the email, attached my resume, and pressed send.
Afterward, I offered a quick prayer. Yet the prayer sounded more like a request for approval than a surrender to God’s will. Deep down, I wanted God to bless the decision I had already made.
Wrestling with God
The next day, anxiety and doubt followed me. I tried to justify my choice, but restlessness kept rising. As a result, I struggled to focus, contribute to my team, and stay present with my family.
By bedtime, I felt exhausted and unsettled. Finally, I prayed honestly: “Lord, help me hold on to You. Please give me rest and take care of the mess I made. I give up.”
I drew a deep breath, and drifted off to sleep, waiting for God’s blessing.
God’s Intervention
The next morning, I checked my email before work. To my surprise, the message had never been sent. The screen read: “Failure to Send Message.”
In a moment of clarity, looking back, I saw that experience as a lesson in trusting God instead of rushing ahead. I realize I needed prayer before making big decisions, along with the willingness to listen before acting. Today, surrender and patience provide me the space to wait for the answer.
“In thinking about our day, we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, and intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy, we don’t struggle.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 87.
Reflection: Are you wrestling with God over a big decision, or praying, waiting and watching for the right answer?
For more articles like this, search: Spiritual Tools in Recovery
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