Struggling to Control My Drinking
Before I joined Alcoholics Anonymous, my attempts to control my drinking failed, even though I truly wanted to live a good life, provide for my family, love my wife, and raise my children with strong values. Despite these intentions, I found myself unable to overcome my addiction on my own. Eventually, feeling overwhelmed and powerless, I realized I needed help and asked for help. AA had a solution, but it would require a sacrifice.
Facing the Need for Change
From the very beginning, my sponsor made it clear that what was required was nothing short of a “revolutionary change” in my outlook and behavior. He put it simply: everything in my life had to change. I summoned the courage to begin working on the steps.
The Role of Steps Six and Seven
Steps six and seven focus on character change through God’s power. Humility is essential in this process, and it starts with an honest self-assessment—a willingness to set aside our old thinking for a new set of ideas and allow God to soften our hearts and let transformation begin.
Examining My Priorities
Let me explain how my heart was changed. Previously, my priorities in life were set in the following order, largely driven by my ego:
- Work
- Family
- God.
Work fueled my pursuit of material things. I bought a house, cars, and indulged in vacations and luxury items. My efforts stemmed from envy, selfishness, fear, and an insatiable desire for more.
Family was vital to prevent loneliness, but childhood experiences of divorce, abandonment, and conflict created emotional instability. I deeply valued my wife and after having children, I assumed the provider role while she became a nurturing and steady presence in our home.
God was a distant idea to me, only sought in moments of desperation after drinking binges. I couldn’t build a close relationship with God because my ego interfered, leaving me lost without realizing it.
Transformation Through the Program
After sharing my fourth step inventory with my sponsor, he encouraged me to reflect on my character defects and pray for change. Through daily prayer, meditation, attending meetings and working with other alcoholics, I realized I had to reset my priorities in life and shift my core values from “Me” to “We.”
- God
- Me, We in Alcoholics Anonymous
- Family
- Work.
If I don’t earnestly pursue the first two, I will certainly lose the last two.
This became my new way of living, and it changed everything!