Understanding The Fourth Commandment: Honor Your Father and Mother
Honor Your Father and Mother is more than a familiar commandment. Instead, it calls us to live in right relationship with God, family, and others. In the Book of Exodus, God calls Moses up to Mount Sinai. There, Moses receives the Ten Commandments. Then, God gives these laws to the people of Israel after freeing them from slavery. Through these laws, they can build a loving relationship with Him and with one another.
Similarly, the Twelve Steps free us from alcoholism and guide us toward recovery and a better way of living. In fact, many of their principles echo the Ten Commandments: honesty, faith, surrender, admitting wrongs, making amends, love, patience and tolerance, humility, willingness to help others.
Family and Faith in Our Relationship with God
As I study the Ten Commandments, I notice a meaningful pattern. First, the first three focus on our relationship with God. Next, the fourth focuses on our relationship with our parents. Finally, the rest focus on our relationship with one another.
The Fourth Commandment and Honoring Parents
This commandment calls children, young and old, to honor their parents. It also asks us to show respect and gratitude for the gift of life. In addition, it highlights the family as the basic unit of society. Marriage, under God’s authority, helps establish that family foundation. As a result, parents care for their children in youth. In return, children should care for their parents in old age. In this way, the family becomes a foundation of charity and social order.
Faith, Family, and Spiritual Growth
In Exodus 20:12, the fourth commandment includes a specific promise: “that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” At first, this promise caught my attention. Likewise, the Twelve Steps include promises that encourage spiritual growth. The Fourth Commandment promises a long and prosperous life in the earthly land. However, it also points toward an eternal blessing.
Spiritual Growth, Eternal Life, and Obedience to God
Moreover, the Commandments point to something grander than life on earth. Jesus promises that if we keep His commandments, we will “enter into life” (Matthew 19:16-19). This creates a clear link between eternal life and obedience to God’s commandments.
Forgiveness, Amends, and Peace
Both of my parents have passed away. Before they died, I made amends for my past actions as an alcoholic. As a result, that became one of the most important things I could do. If I could leave readers with one message, it would be this. Once your parents are gone, you lose the opportunity for reconciliation with them. Then, what remains is your responsibility to live with how you loved, honored, and treated them. My parents did not always treat me as I hoped. Even so, I chose to forgive them. Ultimately, that choice brought me peace.
Reflection: How can I honor my father and mother today through forgiveness, gratitude, reflection, or a simple act of love?
For more articles like this, search: Faith and Scripture in Recovery
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