In the Book of Exodus, Moses is called up to Mount Sinai where he receives the Ten Commandments from God. These laws were created for the people of Israel who were recently liberated from slavery to form a loving relationship with God and each other.
In a similar way, the twelve steps free us from alcoholism and guide us toward recovery and a better way of living. Many of their principles also echo the Ten Commandments.
What I find most meaningful in studying the Ten Commandments is that the first three focus on our relationship with God, the fourth on our relationship with our parents, and the rest on our relationship with one another.
In the spirit of celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I thought it would be fun to unpack the fourth commandment, “Honor your father and your mother.”
This commandment calls children, young and old, to honor their parents with respect and gratitude for the gift of life. It highlights the family as the basic unit of society, established through marriage under God’s authority. Children are called to respond to their parents’ care in youth by caring for them in old age. In this way, the family becomes a foundation of charity and social order.
In Exodus 20:12, the fourth commandment also comes with a specific promise: “that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you”. This first caught my attention because the twelve steps also come with promises that encourage our spiritual growth. The Fourth Commandment promise signifies a blessing of long and prosperous life in earthly land but also suggests that this blessing is eternal.
The Commandments refer to something grander and more than just life on earth. Jesus promises that if we keep His commandments, we will “enter into life”, (Mathew 19:16-19), establishing a direct link between eternal life and obedience to God’s commandments
Both of my parents have passed away. Before they did, one of the most important things I was able to do was make amends for my past actions as an alcoholic. If I could leave readers with one message, it would be this: once your parents are gone, the opportunity for reconciliation is gone with them. What remains is your responsibility to live with how you loved, honored, and treated them. No matter how my parents treated me, I chose to forgive them, and that choice brought me peace.